


The Alyssa Menace

by DeadGrrl



Category: Askewniverse
Genre: First Time, Language, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-22 20:38:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7453138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadGrrl/pseuds/DeadGrrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alyssa Jones influences 4 lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Alyssa Menace

**Author's Note:**

> Series/Sequel: No series, just my ongoing obsession with the slashy nature of two stoners AND two clerks.
> 
> Disclaimers: In concept, it all belongs to Kevin Smith - Jay, Silent Bob, Dante, Randal and the Askewniverse and quite possibly Mewes. I'm just borrowing them for my own secret pleasures but promise to return them unharmed... but smiling.
> 
> Notes: I loved Chasing Amy and I loved the character of Alyssa Jones. I felt she needed to have some positive influence on some of our characters. So, I figured I'd provided it. Forgive me Smith, for I have sinned... But damn, if I didn't have fun doing it.
> 
> Spoilers: Not really, unless you consider the outtakes/alternate ending for Clerks
> 
> Parting Remark: "It's Smith's World... And I'm gonna slash it."

"The Alyssa Menace"  
By DeadGrrl

"Oh fuck you, he is not." Randal called from his familiar post next to Dante's side behind the counter.

"Like I'd value the opinion of some fuckin' clerk..." came the testy reply from the junk food aisle.

Alyssa Jones stood in the doorway of the Quick Stop and felt a wave of nostalgia. Something's, she grinned to herself, never change. Walking into the convenience mart she ducked down an aisle looking for maple syrup. Trisha had requested she pick some up for breakfast on the way over. Alyssa was looking forward to seeing her sister. It had been far too long. Spying the syrup she headed towards the amber colored bottles and frowned at the prices. $6.20 for a minuet bottle of 'genuine' Vermont syrup. Highway robbery, she sighed. She went down the second aisle for muffin mix and caught more of the thread of conversation between the smart-ass clerk and the stoner.

"Darth Maul is so the fuckin' baddest of them all."

"Give it up Jay," Randal called to the druggie. "He was sliced open like pumpkin in the first movie... You call that bad ass?"

Alyssa smiled again. Indeed, something's never do change.

"Fuckin' back me up here tubby! Did Darth Maul kick ass or not?" Jay's voice was becoming clearer as Alyssa came around the corner. She almost ran smack into Silent Bob, who gave a gasp at her presence. She grinned at him and he pulled her into a big bear hug.

"Who the fuck are you touchin'?" Jay started and trailed off as Bob's bulk moved out of the way to reveal Alyssa. "Fuckin' Fingermrphs," was all Jay got out as Bob's hand slapped over his mouth. Bob gave him a warning glance.

"I'd really hate to have to knock all of your teeth out of your head this evening, Jay." Alyssa returned with her own dangerous glance. She felt quite assured she could kick Jay's ass. Bob, was another thing. But judging by the disapproving look that he was giving Jay, Bob just might help her.

Jay had also obviously assessed the situation before tugging Silent Bob's large hand from his mouth. Shooting Bob a dirty look, he replied, "All right, all right! Alyssa Jones, I remember it now. Yo, Lyssa what up?" Jay kept his eyes on Bob who gave him an approving nod. 

Alyssa smiled at the dynamics of their relationship. Pity, neither of the boys could figure it out themselves. Sighing she replied, "I'm fine Jay, how about you and your better half?" 

Jay glossed over the term and replied, "Lyssa, it's been a hell of a week. I won't bore you with the details, but let's just say if myself and Lunchbox hadn't represented, there'd be nothin' left."

"Keeping us safe from harm and supplying the tri-town area with smoke. Quite a chunk you got there on your plate. Sure you can handle it?" Alyssa taunted. 

Jay was not rising to the bait, if indeed he even recognized it. Instead he just slapped Silent Bob on the back and responded "Someone's gotta do it. Me and Silent Bob have got it under control."

"Sure enough," Alyssa agreed as she brushed past them. As she moved out of the aisle Jay made some tongue gestures at Silent Bob, who just shook his head and followed Alyssa toward the front of the store.

Still at his post Dante greeted Alyssa, "A veritable blast from our past, Alyssa Jones. Long time no see."

"Hey Alyssa," called Randal as he glanced up. "How's the book doing?"

Pleased that someone actually knew of her small success she gave him her best smile and responded, "Great, I just sold out of this month's run." 

Randal whistled. "Damn good for an old Tri-town girl!" His eyes refocused on the TV screen.

"Now here's someone that would have valuable input on our current discussion," Jay piped up behind her. "Being that she's in with those funny-book freaks, and they're all about that sci-fi shit. She'd agree with me."

"On?" Alyssa arched her brow, unwilling to commit to any sort of an agreement with Jay.

"On the best bad-ass of them all. Darth, double-barreling it, Maul. These cocksmokers think my boy Maul was weak just Kenobi got his ass. I say Lucus is bringing that motherfucker back into action next flick. That it ain't over till that Anakin fuck sings..."

Randal shook his head, "Kenobi, a *Padawan*, bested your 'bad ass'. Case closed."

"Fuck! It only took Kenobi, the *greatest* Jedi Knight ever, to kill him...Besides I think Kenobi got lucky, and Lucas wanted to end on an up note, so he sacrificed his supreme bad ass so he could rise again." Jay argued.

"Well, I did think Darth Maul was pretty fierce." Alyssa replied.

"Snoogans. Told you so, cocksmokers!" Jay nodded his head toward Silent Bob, feeling victorious. Bob nodded back as he watched the blond gloat.

"I think the only reason Kenobi got him was, well, motivation." Alyssa concluded.

"Jedi's don't do revenge." Dante piped in, not looking up from his magazine.

"Well, not revenge, exactly." Alyssa deferred.

"Then what?" Randal asked, looking away from the TV set, getting into the conversation.

"Well, let me explain it." Alyssa replied as she put her items on the counter. "Imagine Kenobi's mind set for that battle," she started only to be interrupted by Jay.

"He was gonna avenge Cum Squat Jinn, or whatever that fucks name was." Jay finished as Silent Bob elbowed him to be quiet. "Knock it off, you tubby bitch," Jay hissed at Bob. Bob put a finger to his lips and motioned that he should let Alyssa talk. Jay sulked but was quiet.

"So, Jedi's aren't about revenge, but I don't think it was revenge. More like extreme motivation."

"How do you mean?" Dante asked, looking up at Alyssa.

"I mean try to imagine, Kenobi. According to the books, he was sent to the Academy as a child. He had few friends and almost wasn't a chosen to be a Jedi at all."

"So?" Randal prompted.

"So this. Obi-wan was taken at an early age, because he had potential. He was cut off from his family, and had no family unit in his life till he was apprenticed at age 13..."

"But what the fuck does that have to do with..." Jay started and was shushed by the 3 men as Alyssa continued. Jay rolled his eyes, growing bored.

"So imagine, being alone most of your life. Never making a connection. And then suddenly someone chooses you. This someone will take care of you, watch over you. This person will train you in all of your duties and in life itself. This person has become a teacher, a friend and a family. So you've gone from nothing to an incredible something. From being a person all alone to a being a family. So you spend years with this person, training, learning, and growing. They're there to guide you, catch you, praise you and punish you. To set your feet on the right path..." Alyssa paused for a breath. The men gathered around her remained silent, spell bound. She knew she had them. 

"It's like your very best friend in the entire world. The only one to understand you. The only one to always back you up, no matter how wrong or right you are. And you know that they care for you, that there may never be any other to ever care about you this way. That they love you unconditionally. You place faith in that. That out of all the stupid things in life, that at least you know that the love of this person is yours."

"Yeah," Jay mumbled softly as he unconsciously moved closer to Silent Bob.

"But because you're young, and still a bit foolish, maybe you never tell them. Or just assume they know that you love them also. That in your eyes there is no one else. That you have seen enough of life, and know enough of life, that you are quite sure that your destiny and theirs are intertwined. That you will always be there for them, and that you hope they will always be there for you." She finished softly. As she looked up at Dante, she noticed Randal staring at his friend. Oh, yes, she was going to get them good...

"And then some maniac steps through the doors and strikes them down." She spat out. 

Randal shuddered. He looked at her sharply, almost as if she had touched some nerve. 

"Some lunatic steps into the picture. And he doesn't care about that friendship or that love you've never spoken of. He doesn't care that you never said those words or that you had so much more to talk about. He doesn't care that maybe you were waiting for that perfect moment, to tell your beloved..." she trailed off and looked away. "He just doesn't care." She said coldly.

"No, he just skewers them. Strikes at them, and puts a hole in their chest." She continued in an oddly cold, detached tone. Dante rubbed his chest unconsciously. Randal got up from his seat and put his hand on Dante's arm. Oh yes, if someone didn't crack, she had no worth as a storyteller at all.

"And you watch, trapped by circumstance. Unable to help, unable to protect. You watch as they fall to the ground, air escaping them, wound weakening them, and you unable to reach them. You are forced to watch as moment's tick by, each and every precious second taking them from you, and you can only watch.

"Each moment brings a thousand regrets, and a thousand paths disappearing forever, sinking back into the cold night. Each moment hangs like a thousand days and nights in-between you. And yet you can only watch, as their breath becomes shallow and their skin pale and eyes dull.

"And you know, you know..." She hung her head. "You know, that they are leaving you. That they are going some place you cannot follow. That they are leaving you not by their choice, but by some madman's decree." She whispered.

Alyssa looked up at the men around her, with just a touch of anger in her eyes. Jay backed up into Silent Bob, who put a hand on his waist. "Some asshole, with a double barrel special, took them from you. Took their future, took your future - together. Some 'tattooed freak', stepped in from the night and took everything. He took *EVERYTHING*. Without so much as a by-your-leave, he took it all. And left you with nothing.

"Anger." She concluded. "Anger is just a fleeting emotion. Rage. Rage is the beginning to understanding and defining it. Wrath is what others may call it. Vengeance is just a word. Because nothing can take away the sensation that part of your soul has just been filleted away.

"That son of a bitch took more then you ever realized you could give. Because you never realized, until that moment, how fleeting all of this," she gestured to everything, "was. You never knew you could have all those opportunities stripped from you. You never dreamed that someone could walk in from the endless night and just take it all." Her voice was a whisper. Maybe I should look into acting, she mused.

"And suddenly you're free of what was imprisoning you, and the slayer of all that was right in your world stands before you. Mocking you. Mocking your loss. Waiting to take you and let you die with the knowledge that you failed your beloved not once, but twice...

"Revenge," she began again, "doesn't begin to cover it. You will kill this bastard. You will kill this bastard because you know that nothing could ever be right in a world where this son of a bitch would walk free. And he would, you know he would. Nothing could ever repay the abomination of having a loved one taken from you... nothing. And this bastard's death will not even begin to pay the price.

"So you fight, better then you ever have in your life. You are at one with the moment because the moment has taken on the horrific clarity of being the one moment you will remember for all of the rest of your days... And you cut that motherfucker down, slice through him, and watch as he tumbles away from you like rubbish."

"Yeah!" Jay hissed quietly, his eyes slightly out of focus. Alyssa ignored this and continued.

"And as you watch your enemy fall away, you become aware of your beloved, drawing their remaining breaths. You hurry to their side, and the grief you feel breaks through the rage and makes a hollow in your soul. You pull them to you, and whisper 'Please, no, don't go. Please, please.' And they hear you but can't stop the journey. And they tell you what you must do, and you don't care about any of that, you have to tell them, they have to know... As they brush the tears from your cheek, you realize that they already knew. They knew all along. Your secret was not a secret to them. How could it be? They who know you better than all others, they who cherished you more than other. They have always known. And they feel the same... but it's too late now. They close their eyes and step into that unknown, where you cannot follow. And all that remains behind is an empty shell, a loneliness unlike any you have ever known, and just you - crying tears for someone that you will never see again and for that painful hollow left inside." She concluded softly, her eyes on the floor.

"That, gentlemen, is motivation," she added. A moment passed as the men processed what she had said. Alyssa dug out a ten, and placed it on the counter. "Keep the change," she said softly as she picked up her purchases and left. But not before she stole a glance at the assembled men. If nothing came out of this she'd be very disappointed.

Shaking her head, she went to her car parked across the street. She took a moment to put the things in the trunk, unlocked her door and slipped into the driver's seat. Checking her makeup in the rearview mirror she brushed a mascara streak away. "Girl, you been reading *way* too much slash." She gave a small smile and started the car and flipped on her headlights. As she pulled away from the curb her headlights glanced off a couple standing away from the street light. The couple consisted of a tall darkly dressed individual leaning into a shorter, stouter individual. And kissing. Alyssa smiled, "About fucking time!" she muttered aloud.

As she did a U-turn with her car she also noticed that RST Video and Quick Stop were both noticeably dark. Grinning widely she gave herself a mental pat on the back. "Told you, you still got it." She laughed with delight and speed down the darkened street.

_ _ _ _ _ _

What Happened After Alyssa Left  
_ _ _ _ _ _

"Wow..." Jay was the first to speak "I didn't know Jedi's could be gay."

Silent Bob slapped a hand over his eyes. Dante's shoulders shook with silent laughter.

Randal barely took notice. He also did not notice how close he was standing to Dante or that he still had his hand on Dante's arm. All Randal did notice was how frightened Alyssa's story had made him. He noticed how his heart had stopped for a second when Alyssa had said the words "puts a hole in their chest." Randal didn't believe in much, but Randal believed he had just had a horrible sense of déjà vu. A frighteningly real déjà vu, where he could see in his mind a grainy black and white film playing out Dante's demise. Randal was scared, more terrified at that moment than any other moment of his life.

Jay's voice broke through to him for a moment. "Come on Silent Bob, let's go." The stoners left the store. Dante watched them go with a shake of his head. 

"Man, what a perspective," Dante said more to himself than anybody. Then Dante became aware of Randal, Randal's proximity and the cold hand on his forearm. Turning and looking at his friend, Dante finally noticed how pale the young man was.

"Hey... Are you okay?" Dante asked, concerned.

"I, I..." Randal started but couldn't find his voice. 

Dante smiled softly at him. "Not going to happen," Dante whispered in as he pulled him into an embrace. Randal placed his head on Dante's shoulder, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to do. Dante held him tightly, took the hat from his head and tossed it to the counter. Placing a hand on the nape of his neck, he started stoking Randal's hair.

"But I see it..." Randal whispered from Dante's shoulder, his eyes tightly shut.

"I know, I know. It might have happened once, but not any more. You've told me about the dream, and I'm always careful late at night, and we always walk out together, right?"

"Right..."

"So, it's covered." Dante concluded as he rested his head against Randal's. He felt very close to Randal. He knew that Alyssa's story had changed something, maybe for the better. Randal's heart was beating quickly against his chest, and Dante wondered how else the story had affected his friend.

"I just get so scared that I'm gonna come in here and find you, find you..." Randal stuttered.

"I know, I know. That's why you spend so much time in here. I know, Randal." Dante said gently.

"But do you know that I, that I..." Randal's voice was muffled as he pressed his mouth against Dante's neck. Dante's eyes closed for a moment as he relished the feeling of the soft mouth on his neck. Randal was kissing him, and Dante was not even slightly surprised at the fact. Alyssa was right, he knew. He had always known. 

Dante's eyes glided open as he looked into Randal's blue eyes. Randal looked searchingly at Dante. Dante smiled back at Randal. "I knew that too," he said softly.

"What?" Randal asked quietly, wanting the verbal confirmation. It had been assumed far too long.

"That you love me, and that I love you too." Dante replied shyly.

Randal's face broke into a smile. "Oh yeah? So, does this mean we can go home early and make out on your couch?"

"Yes." Dante answered firmly. "It does." With that he leaned forward and kissed Randal, their first kiss. It felt like something out of the movies, perfection. Randal's mouth pressed sweetly into him, opening when Dante's tongue pressed along his lips. Randal held Dante tightly as the other man, slowly explored his mouth. He moaned as Dante grabbed him by the ass and hauled him closer. 

"Lumph umph oor" Randal moaned. Dante broke off the kiss, and looked into Randal's eyes. 

"What?" he asked impatiently as he felt Randal's erection rub against him.

"Door," Randal panted. "Lock the door, we're not gonna make it home."

Dante looked at his friend for a moment as if he were insane. Randal gave another low moan and thrust against Dante's leg. Finally processing all the available information, Dante quickly agreed. Leaving Randal leaning against the counter, Dante went to the front door, threw the lock and switched the light off.

The inside of the Quick Stop was erriely lit by the shallow light thrown off by the multiple displays. It made for an odd sort of lighting, not pitch black, not really dim, but rather a murky sort of illumination that allowed Dante to sense most his envirmonet but still tricked him. Quickly picking his way back to the counter in the odd darkness Dante only bumped into two displays and tripped over the rug once.

Coming around the counter he sensed Randal's arms extended out to him. "C'mere, c'mere," Randal whispered. Randal grabbed him and did a fairly decent job of counting his fillings. Dante pulled his friend tightly to him, legs entwining. Randal gave another thrust against Dante's hip. Dante felt his own cock rubbing tightly in his jeans. He wanted to thrust and thrust against Randal until he collapsed, but couldn't get enough balance or a good enough grip.

"Floor," he breathed heavily. Randal misunderstood, or chose his own definition, and slid to his knees and began opening Dante's jeans.

"Wait, I meant - oh!" Dante's voice came out a low hiss as Randal's tongue swirled over the head of his cock. He leaned back against the counter and tried not to come immediately. Randal's mouth was suddenly on him, hot wet suction. One hand was stoking him in time with Randal's bobbing head, the other hand stroking his balls.

It didn't take nearly long enough. Dante had time to mutter "Oh, fuck!" and was shooting into Randal's mouth. Randal continued to suck on Dante, swallowing as Dante convulsed around him.

Completely spent, Dante slunk down to the floor. "Jesus, where the fuck did you learn to do that?" Dante asked, slightly dazed.

"And you say porn has no merit..." Randal taunted back. Dante laughed aloud.

"Never will I doubt you again." Dante grinned in the darkness. 

"You better not," came the surprisingly close reply as Randal's frame slid on top of Dante's. Randal was sucking on Dante's neck again, and Dante was making low noises in his throat. Randal's nips and kisses were exciting Dante. He wanted more, he wanted Randal to do something, anything...

"Please, please..." Dante breathed.

"Please what?" Randal replied.

"Do something to me already!"

"Jesus, aren't we the demanding one! I just sucked you off, you can't possibly be hard again already," Randal teased.

"Fuck me." Dante decided to go for blunt. Randal didn't reply. "Please?" Dante asked quietly.

"Really?" Randal asked neutrally.

"Yes, really!"

"We need some lube..." Randal mused aloud. 

Dante struggled up into a sitting position, displacing Randal for a moment. Blindly sticking his hand out he felt through the articles behind the counter. 

"And I really should be able to see what I'm doing, because I've never done this before," Randal continued until a bottle was placed in his hand.

"What's this?"

"Baby oil." Dante replied.

"No shit?"

"No shit."

A moment passed, and neither of the men spoke. Randal finally said, "Naked. You need to get naked." And started to strip off Dante's shirt. Dante shivered at the tone of Randal's voice. Randal stripped him, divesting him of his pants and shoes, even his socks until, indeed Dante was completely naked.

A moment passed an all Dante heard was the whisper of cloth and he realized Randal was removing his clothes also. Then Randal's body was pressing his own to the floor. "Oh God, oh God," Dante was moaning as Randal kissed his way up Dante's torso. Randal's mouth covered his and Dante could still taste himself on Randal. He shivered hard.

Randal spent a few moments kissing Dante and caressing him, and was surprised when Dante's cock twitched. "You sly old dog, you holding out on me?" Randal gently laughed into Dante's ear as his hand snaked back down between their bodies and gave Dante's cock a few strokes. Dante gasped. 

"Want you, want you..." was all Dante could get out. Randal kissed him again, and shifted off of him. Randal kneeled in front of Dante as he stroked Dante's thighs, picking them up and rested them on his own. Flipping open the baby oil he poured some into his hand. Warming it for a moment, he spoke softly to Dante, "If it hurts, we stop. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, yes, please..." Dante pleaded.

Randal smiled in response, even though Dante couldn't see him. Taking an oil drenched finger he gently placed it on the tight opening. Dante's breathing immediately picked up. Rubbing the oil into Dante, Randal discovered his friend had a whole palette of non-verbal responses.

Working the first finger into Dante had been the hardest, he was very tight. Virgins, Randal mused, nearly laughing at himself for thinking it. As if *he* had experience. Judging by Dante's moans and shudders he was doing okay. The second finger went in a little easier. By the third Dante was swearing at him.

"Fuck me already!" Dante ordered Randal. His cock was twitching, trying to get back into the game.

"Ask nicely," Randal teased as he altered his position. 

"Fucking please!" Dante hissed and then gave a low moan as Randal's cock pressed against him. It was slow going, but eventually the tightness gave away and Randal slid in. Dante gave a strangled yell at the invasion.

"Don't move," Dante whispered as his body adjusted to the length of Randal's cock. 

Randal labored not to move, he could feel sweat breaking out on his back. He didn't want to hurt Dante, but this was too much...

"Okay," Dante breathed after a moment. 

Randal gratefully moved his hips slightly. Dante moaned. Randal stopped, and asked aloud, "Was that a 'Please fuck me, Randal' moan or a 'Get it out of me' moan?" 

Dante laughed breathily, "The first..." he replied. 

"Thank God." Randal replied and shifted his hips and pushed again. Dante gave a whispered gasp. This time Randal didn't stop, but did inquire, "Good?"

"Fuck yeah," Came Dante's whispered reply.

Randal's hips started a slow even motion as his cock sunk in and out of Dante's ass. He paid carefully attention to all the noises Dante was making and concentrated on making him repeat certain sounds. Dante moans built in volume as Randal's thrusts began to come quicker. 

Randal was trying to not concentrate on how amazing it all felt. He had no idea that anything could feel that good, that anyone could be that tight. That and all the wonderful sounds that Dante was making under him. The boy was very verbal...

"Harder, harder..." Dante's voice called to him. Randal complied, and shifted slightly. Suddenly Dante's voice was a non-stop babble. Figuring that he had hit the fabled 'prostrate' Randal's speed increased. He sensed Dante's hands sliding over his own erection and the wonderful, filthy dialog that Dante had started sprouting was beginning to undo him.

Dante was sputtering and nearly incoherent by this point. Randal felt the twitch at the pit of his stomach, the tell tale sign that he was almost there. Leaning almost complete over Dante at this point, as he had been drilling him into the floor, he panted to him "Gonna come...in you... okay?"

Dante cried out, "Yes!" and Randal's orgasm ripped through him. Dante's hands succeeded in bring himself off and as Randal felt his cock spurting inside of Dante, he felt Dante's seed strike his chest. He collapsed on top of Dante, fluids sliding between them. He could feel Dante's hand stroking his hair and heard the whispered words through his chest. 

"Love you...love you..."

"I love you too, but next time we do it at your place. I think I threw out my back." Randal returned with a groan.

Dante snorted, "Deal."

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

Jay & Silent Bob  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

"Fucking Fingercuffs." Jay shook his head as Silent Bob followed him into the night. Leaning against the video store Bob lit up a smoke. Jay stood next to him, leaned over and took a puff off of Bob's cigarette. Leaning his head back he exhaled, watching the night sky through the dissipating smoke.

"She's right though... It *is* all too fleeting." Jay continued. He looked up into the night sky for a few moments longer. Making up his mind, he looked at Silent Bob. Bob's profile revealed nothing. Jay moved to directly in front of Bob. Silent Bob looked at Jay questioningly.

"Oh, shut up and kiss me already," Jay mumbled and kissed Silent Bob. Bob's eyes widened as Jay's lips touched his. He looked at the young man kissing him. Jay's eyes were tightly shut and he had strangely peaceful expression on his face. The soft lips pressed against Bob's own firmly. Bob blinked, recovering. His eyes finally slowly closed as he began to return the kiss. 

Jay sighed softly as Bob's lips moved against his own. Encouraged he gave a tentative lick. Bob's mouth parted slightly. Jay's tongue danced along the opening again as his mind raced 'Oh God, oh God, please, please, please...' Then Bob's jaw shifted a bit more and Jay's tongue was stroking inside of that hot wet space. 

Hands rested lightly on Jay's hips and Jay snaked his own up and around Bob's neck lightly. Bob's tongue was methodically and deliberately cataloging Jay's mouth. He was taking this task slowly and seriously in such manner that Jay found himself growing light-headed from lack of oxygen.

Jay was trying to be cool; it was no big deal... Bob was kissing him; no big deal. Then he involuntarily gave a low moan as Bob's tongue gave a small thrust, and was pulled closer. Oh fuck, it was a big deal, Jay thought dizzily.

Bob broke off the kiss. His eyes snapped open to the sight of Jay, eyes still closed and panting slightly. Jay's eyes fluttered open after a moment and refocused on Bob pensively. Jay's gaze dropped and his hands slid from Bob's neck. "Sorry, I just wanted to let you know..." Jay's voice was soft as he tugged away from Bob.

Bob caught the front of his jacket and pulled Jay sharply, walking away from the video store to a less well lit area of the street.

"Jesus, Bob! Take it easy! It was just a kiss! You don't have to kick my ass!" Jay panicked.

As they stepped into a darkened area Bob spun around and yanked Jay close. "Oh fuck!" Jay yelped, closing his eyes and waiting for the impact of Bob's fist. Instead he was surprised by Bob's lips connecting with his again. Jay was confused for a split second, and then disregarded all other thought as he pressed into Bob.

The two were locked in a tight embrace, mouths sliding over each other for a long moment. Jay kept pulling Bob closer, trying to get closer. Bob broke off the kiss with a chuckle.

"Damn I want to just swallow you whole," Jay whispered into Silent Bob's ear, "Wanna lick you, suck you, bite you..." Jay's voice trailed off as he gave a low moan as Bob's hands cupped his ass and hauled him closer. He buried his face in Bob's neck and planted frenzied kisses there.

Bob held on tightly to Jay, scarcely believing what was happening. Finally. 

"Please, please, please, wanna go home." Jay was mumbling in between kisses. "Wanna fuck, now." He knew he was barely making sense, but that was okay, he knew Bob understood him. 

Bob held on tightly to Jay for another long minute, enjoying the panting and squirming. He had imagined this moment a thousand times, but nothing was living up to having Jay trying to crawl into his skin. 

"Home, home, home..." Jay was chanting as he began to slide down the front of Bob's torso. Bob grabbed him and yanked him upward.

"Repeat after me," Bob spoke softly into his ear. "I will not blow Bob in front of the video store and get us arrested." Jay moaned as Bob then nipped the ear to have received the instruction. 

Jay's breath was a shuddering whisper. "Won't... Bob... But please, please..."

Bob smiled and tugged Jay along toward the bus stop. It was slow going seeing as every few steps they would pause and start kissing again. Jay was rubbing against Bob, his mouth trying to devour him. As they paused in front of RST Video Jay pushed against Bob hard. Bob stumbled backward pulling Jay with him, relying on the wall to catch them.

When Bob and Jay fell through the wall, it was then that Bob realized he had miscalculated. The door had been behind him, not the wall. Looking up at Jay from the floor of the video store, Bob wondered how Randal had forgotten to lock up. He also wondered if the clerk was still in Quick Stop. 

Jay on the other hand, was looking upwards and gave praise to the Almighty. "Thank you!" Then he lunged at Bob. 

Bob's last thought was to kick the door closed. Then he stopped thinking all together as Jay's mouth covered his. He felt one of Jay's hands tugging up his sweatshirt and a moment later fingers found a nipple and began to toy with the hardened nub. The other hand was at his zipper, opening, uncovering, and tugging clothes. Jay's mouth left his lips only to make a comeback at his chest as the soft lips sucked on a nipple. Bob gave a low moan and then a sharp gasp as Jay's other hand finally worked through the layers of clothing and took his hard cock in hand.

Jay stroked Bob as he planted kisses across Bob's chest. Bob felt dizzy at the sensations rushing through him. Jay's hand was moving at a slow-pace, making concentration difficult. Bob forced himself to try to get Jay's attention.

"Jay, uh, Jay... oh God... wait, wait..."

If anything this seemed to make Jay's hand move slower, as the blond's fist teased him. 

"Oh... fuck... Jay... Jay... you little..." Bob's hips began to thrust into Jay's hand as it began to finally pick up pace. 

"Say my name again..." Jay was whispering in his ear.

"Jay, oh God... Jay, please..." Bob moaned.

"God, I love your voice," Jay's whisper returned. "But you never fuckin' talk... But it looks like I found a way of making you talk..." Jay mouth was on his neck sucking and gently biting. "Now talk for me bitch..."

And Bob talked, or more appropriately moaned, cursed and begged for Jay. Jay continued to stroke Bob and finally slid down Bob and took him in his mouth. No teasing licks, no gentle sucking, but full out engulfed him in a smooth movement. Bob never had a chance, the sensory input of Jay's mouth connecting with that portion of his anatomy too much for his already over excited state. 

"Jay!" he cried as he came. Jay continued to suck him, swallowing his release. Bob shuddered for a few long moments as his body rocked with the sensations of orgasm. Jay's hands were lightly caressing any available patch of skin they could find. Bob's own hands were caught in the long blond hair that was snaked out over his hips and thighs. Smoothing the hair away from Jay's face he looked down at the other man. 

"My turn," Bob told Jay softly as he pulled him upward. He caught Jay's mouth and kissed him soundly as he worked his hands into the baggy pants. Jay shuddered at the contact and moaned as Bob's hands located his already painfully hard cock and began to stroke.

"Wait, wait..." Jay breathed heavily. He brushed Bob's hand away, pushed his jeans down more and snugged his cock into Bob's bare hip. Rocking into Bob, he mumbled "I wanna like this," and covered Bob's lips with his own. Jay was moaning into Bob's mouth, his hands tightly clutching at Bob's shoulders. Breaking away for air he panted. "Oh God, oh God, yeah..." His hips sped up and Bob slid his hands down Jay's back, coming in contact with warm, bare flesh. Bob fingers cupped the gentle curve of Jay's ass as he pulled him closer.

Jay's thrusts came faster still, his voice now a constant stream of non-sensical dialogue. Bob splayed his fingers, and used one to apply pressure in a certain spot... Jay's voice stopped as he gave a gasp and then a low moan as his orgasm spilled out of him. Panting into Bob's neck he returned to his earlier sentiment, "Oh God, oh God, oh God..."

Bob smiled in the darkness at being able to reduce Jay to as few as words as possible. His hands lazily stroked the soft skin of Jay's back, pushing the shirt out of the way. Jay just lay on top Bob, trying to catch his breath. 

"Goddamn Lunchbox... damn." Jay finally spoke up. Bob kissed the top of Jay's head, amused at the lack of description, which could only mean one thing. He had gotten Jay as close to speechless as possible for Jay. Not an easy feat, but something to be proud of. Jay yawned from his position on Bob's chest.

"Now if we can do that, along with a few other things, about four times a day I think I'd be a happy man."

Bob smiled at this and asked "Only four?"

"Hells yes! Any more than that and we'll be seriously cutting into our business hours, and how the hell am I gonna afford to keep your sweet ass in the lap of luxury if we don't sell any smoke?"

Bob's chest shook with silent laughter. Jay smiled into his chest. "But first were gonna take a vacation... Cause I think we're gonna have to fuck for about a week straight, and then maybe I'll be able to control myself around you. Damn, Bob, you're so fucking cute, and I'm so fucking hard all the time... Why the hell didn't we figure this out sooner?"

Bob shook his head. I don't know.

"Shit, I've probably loved you since I first met you. And we didn't do nothing about it till now... You know what that means?"

Bob didn't reply immediately, but instead was focusing on the words 'loved you'. Finally shaking the shock he asked, "Hmmm?"

"Plenty of make up sex..." Jay growled as he started kissing Bob's lips softly. Bob smiled under the kisses. He interrupted Jay with the words he knew were very important for Jay to hear.

"I love you, Jay." Bob told him softly. Jay stopped kissing him, taken by the seriousness of the conviction. In the near darkness he could barely see Bob, but could tell by the sincerity of his voice that Bob meant what he said.

"I know, I love you too... that's why we're rolling around like teenagers on the floor of a video store. If I didn't think it was love, I wouldn't be here."

Bob smiled at the rational and nodded his head.

"Now lets get the fuck outta here and go home... Dude, I got all these mental images dancing around in my head... Shit we gotta try... I got this one that involves you and the couch, and me in a red vest..." Jay's non-stop dialogue firmly reinstated itself as the two stoners got up off the floor. However the subject matter was now firmly fixed on Jay and Bob themselves, and the matter of how much, what kind and how frequently they were going to be having sex.

Silent Bob smiled as he listened to his lover, carefully taking notes in the back of head. Smiling, he thought to himself, there were worse things to be fixated on.

END


End file.
